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Obituaries
Recent Obituaries
Bancroft, Karl
May 19, 2013
Karl Bancroft
May 19, 2013
Karl D Bancroft, born Aug 3, 1930 in Grand Junction, Colo. to Eugene and Thelma Bancroft. Karl was an only child, loved by his parents and grandparents. He grew up with his paternal grandparents in the Palisade, CO area where the family had peach orchards. His grandparents were very special to him and our family spent many wonderful times with them. We had an opportunity to even meet Great Grandma Sadie on her 91st Birthday. Five generations in one gathering. He met and married Violet E. Schissler (former Frontier "stewardess")in 1952. They would have celebrated 61 years on 5/25/13. Karl was a PFC-Army-1948-49-Tank Co 9th Infantry. SFC E-6 Co A 1334th Engineer Battalion-Army. Seaman recruit V-6 USNR 1948-51. He worked as a station agent for Frontier Airlines from 1949-52. Co-pilot from 1952-1963. Dispatcher from 1964-1986. Dispatcher for Sierra Pacific from 1987-1995, semi-retired-worked as Dir. of Safety until his death 2013. Lived and worked in Salt Lake City, UT, Vernal, UT, Denver, CO, Arvada, CO, Northglenn, CO, Tucson, AZ. Karl has 3 children, 3 grandchildren and his wife who survive him. Karl loved working with wood since he was young. He built and remodeled all of the homes he lived in and could fix anything. He took up woodturning when he moved to Tucson. He also carved fish that look as fresh as one just caught. He loved anything with exacting details he could apply. Of course, his great love was flying and he spent his life in the airline industry. He has left a hole in many hearts but we remember his quiet strength, patience, dedication to his work and his very kind heart.
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Wood, II, Raymond
May 18, 2013
Raymond Wood, II
May 18, 2013
No biographical information has been entered for Raymond Wood, II.
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Hoffman, Mildred
May 16, 2013
Mildred Hoffman
May 16, 2013
On May 16, 2013 Mildred Hoffman went home to be with her Lord. She was born in Huntingdon, PA on January 6, 1917. She died at The Villas of La Canada under the care of Casa De La Luz, Hospice Care, Tucson, AZ. Mildred had been a resident of Tucson, AZ for the past eight years, during most of those years living with her daughter. She was the daughter of Howard and Dora Barclay. She is survived by her daughter Jeannine (Hoffman) Hayduk, a grand-daughter Heather Hayduk-Oriani and her husband James of Satellite Beach, FL, and a great-grandson Carmine Hayduk Oriani. She was preceded in death by her husband James Vincent Hoffman, a daughter Jolene Hoffman and a son-in-law Charles Hayduk and nine brothers and sisters. Mildred was a previous long time member of St. James Lutheran Church in Huntingdon, PA, and an eight year member of Resurrection Lutheran Church in Oro Valley, AZ. She was a graduate of the Captain Jack High School in the class of "1935". Her whole life was devoted to her family. She loved to travel and as late as last November traveled to San Antonio, TX because she wanted to visit the Alamo. A memorial service was held on May 20, 2013 at Resurrection Lutheran Church. Interment of the urn will be held in Huntingdon, PA, with family. Memorials can be made to the American Liver Society, or locally to Youth on Their Own.
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Forgione, Dolores
May 14, 2013
Dolores Forgione
May 14, 2013
No biographical information has been entered for Dolores Forgione.
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Archer, Martha
May 12, 2013
Martha Archer
May 12, 2013
Martha Mary Archer, 88 years old, passed away on Mother’s Day, May 12, 2013. Loving wife of 57 years to the late David Murle Archer; beloved mother of Pamela Archer (John) Peters and Diane Haley (Richard Harris) Archer; fond grandmother of Maureen (Caleb) Hickman, Travis (Sam) Haley and Danielle Haley; great-grandmother of Taylor Johnson and Raelyn Haley. Martha Mary was a graduate of Wittenberg University and a member Chi Omega Sorority. She obtained her Master’s Degree from Case Western Reserve University. Martha Mary was a teacher in the Ashland, Ohio school system where she met her husband David. Martha Mary and David enjoyed traveling and traveled to 121 countries after David’s retirement. Martha Mary was an avid swimmer and swam every day. She enjoyed reading financial publications including the Wall Street Journal. A Memorial Service will be held on Thursday, May 16, 2013, at 11:00 a.m. at the Vistoso Funeral Home, 2285 E. Rancho Vistoso Blvd., Oro Valley, AZ 85755. (520)544-2285
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Ehlers, Mary Lou
May 11, 2013
Mary Lou Ehlers
May 11, 2013
No biographical information has been entered for Mary Lou Ehlers.
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Stewart, Edward
May 11, 2013
Edward Stewart
May 11, 2013
Edward Mendel Stewart, 85 years old, passed away May 11, 2013. Loving husband of Doxiene Cambron Stewart who he met at Norman Grade School in the 4th Grade; father of Lee Robert (Joanne) Stewart and Linda Diane Johnson; grandfather of Alexis Ashley Johnson and Cassandra Louise Stewart. Edward was a member of the Masonic Lodge, Scottish Rite, and Sosostris Shrine all in Lincoln, NE, the Lake of the Ozarks Shrine Club, Lake Ozarks, MO, and the AXB Fraternity, Kansas City, MO. Edward was on the Board of Directors of the Bay Point Village Condominiums in Osage Beach, MO. Edward was a member of the Tortolita Presbyteriam Church, Tucson. A Celebration of Life with Masonic Services will be held on Wednesday, May 22, 2013, at 1:00 p.m., at the Vistoso Funeral Home, Oro Valley, AZ. visit the on line guestbook at www.VistosoFH.com or call 520-544-2285
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Clay, Raymond
May 9, 2013
Raymond Clay
May 9, 2013
Raymond E. Clay, of SaddleBrooke, Arizona, passed quietly in his sleep on Thursday, May 9, 2013 at the age of 82. Ray is survived by his loving wife, Beatrice (Winnie) Clay, of SaddleBrooke; his daughters, Sheryl Clay of Meriden, CT, and Lori Blakley of Greenacres, FL; three grandsons: Matthew Yellen and his wife, Alexandra Stillman, of Boston Massachusetts; Jared Yellen and his wife, Laura, of Bristol, CT; and Marvin Blakley of W. Springfield, MA; a granddaughter, Kathleen Blakley of W.Springfield, MA; three great-grandsons: Gavin and Logan Yellen of Bristol, CT and Caeden Blakley of W. Springfield, MA and one great-granddaughter: Kaylen Yellen, of Bristol, CT. He is pre-deceased by his son, William Clay of Stamford, CT. Ray was born in Providence, Rhode Island on December, 28, 1930, and moved to Connecticut with his family when he was a child. Following military service in Germany with the 169th Regiment 43 Division Tank Company during the Korean Conflict, Ray made his home in Connecticut, where he worked as a manager for the Southern New England Telephone Company for 33 years. He retired to Arizona in 1995. Ray was a passionate golfer, enjoyed hand-tooling leather, for which he received many awards, travel and entertaining with family and friends. He was a loving and devoted husband and father, grandfather, and doting great-grandfather. A gentle man and a gentleman, he will be deeply missed by his loved ones, friends and all who knew him. Ray is interred at the Sonoma Arizona Veteran’s Memorial Cemetery in Sierra Vista, Arizona. Donations may be made in Ray’s memory to the National Parkinson’s Disease Foundation: www.parkinson.org
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St. John, Russell
May 4, 2013
Russell St. John
May 4, 2013
No biographical information has been entered for Russell St. John.
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Broederdorf, Dan
May 3, 2013
Dan Broederdorf
May 3, 2013
Dan (aka Danny) Broederdorf, age 59, of Oro Valley, Arizona, passed away May 3, 2013, peacefully in his home after a courageous battle with cancer. Dan was born on June 25, 1953 in Elgin, Illinois, the son of Robert and Marjorie Broederdorf. He grew up in Algonquin, Illinois, where he attended St. John’s Lutheran School and graduated from Irving Crown High School in 1971. Dan spent much of his life in the Chicagoland area working in Wholesale Distribution Sales Management, as a Loan Officer in the Mortgage Industry and for many years he served as a Board Member for Turning Point, a domestic violence agency in McHenry County, Illinois. In 2011, he and his wife, Anne, decided they were tired of the Chicago weather and moved west to Oro Valley, Arizona, where he could enjoy the hobbies that he was truly passionate about. An avid Bears and Cubs fan to the end, no matter how disappointing his baseball team was, he always believed in “next year”. He loved golfing, water volleyball, bicycling, and just relaxing in his pool. He was quite the wine connoisseur and also a very competitive card player. He loved traveling, rock and roll concerts and could quote any Seinfeld episode because he had seen each one way too many times. Dan Broederdorf was a man who was truly loved and respected by all. He was an inspiration to many and was passionate about many things. He lived his life to the fullest and encouraged others to do the same. He always held his family in the highest regard. It meant the world to him to spend time with his family and we all loved him very much. Dan will be missed by many, but most of all, his family. Dan was a kind husband, son, brother and a very loving father. His children have many wonderful memories of him – from “shaving” with Dad to their favorite “One for the Money” game when they were little. With his blended family, more recent memories include “Broederdorf Bunch” family vacations, annual Father’s Day trips to the race track, and most of all having the honor of dancing with his Daughter at her wedding. Dan’s Grandson, Leo, was already crazy about him at just three months old and will undoubtedly cherish the photos they shared knowing that he was able to meet his wonderful Grandpa. These memories and many more, will always hold a special place in the hearts of his wife and children. Dan touched the lives of many individuals with his smile and generosity. He maintained his trademark sense of humor all the way to the end. Friends and family are invited to attend a Celebration of Life on Saturday, May 11, 2013, at 11:30 am at Vistoso Funeral Home, 2285 East Rancho Vistoso Boulevard, Oro Valley, Arizona. A Memorial Service will also be held in his honor on May 17, 2013, at 1:30pm at Shepherd of the Prairie Lutheran Church, 10805 Main Street, Huntley, Illinois. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the Kidney Cancer Association or the American Cancer Society. Links to these associations are available on the menu to the left.
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Smith MD, Dr. Robert
April 25, 2013
Dr. Robert Smith MD
April 25, 2013
Ice cream! Or, a trip to Nepal, or a game of golf with the grandkids, or a good book. Robert Oliver Smith got the most out of life. He accomplished much, and he inspired others to accomplish more. Dad did the big things in life, but never lost his appreciation of the little things. If ever there was a man that made the best of his days on this earth, it was Dad. For him, every day was a good day, a blessing from God, to be experienced with a sense of wonder and humility. Robert O. Smith died April 25, 2013, at his home in Tucson AZ, after a two week battle with a very aggressive malignancy, Peripheral T-cell Lymphoma. He is survived by his wife Jean, four children, four grand children, and three great grand children. Dad’s story began in Detroit Michigan. He was born May 12, 1923 to Guy W. Smith and Nellie (Davidson) Smith. He spent his youth in Detroit with his brother, Charles “Wilf” Smith. As a boy, he enjoyed singing in the choir at Westminster Presbyterian Church, singing in school musicals, playing tennis, and ice-skating on the ponds at Palmer Woods. He graduated from Thomas M Cooley high school and then pursued a college education at Wayne State University. When WWII came, he elected to enlist in the US Army, who offered to send him to medical school. After graduation from Wayne State Medical School in 1947, and training at Detroit’s Harper hospital, he completed a surgical residency at St. Mary’s Hospital in Grand Rapids MI. During his medical training, he met the love of his life, Jean F. (Kinley) Smith. They were married September 25, 1948. After completion of his surgical training, he transferred from the Army to the then fledgling US Air Force. He and Mom moved to Las Vegas, where Dad served as a flight surgeon at Nellis Air Force Base. At the end of his military commitment in 1953, he elected to move to the small town of Ionia, Michigan. There, the young doctor hung out his shingle and he compassionately practiced medicine for 37 years. Dedicated to his community, he was a member of the Lion’s club, served on the Ionia School Board for 20 years, and acted as the team physician for the Ionia Bull Dogs Football team for 37 years! Dad seldom missed a game. Dad was an old school, country doctor, it was not uncommon for him, after receiving a phone call, to immediately get up from the dinner table and rush to the hospital to provide care for the sick or injured. We saw that happen many times, and we always admired his dedication to his profession and to the people of his community Dad was a deeply spiritual man. There was often a bible on his reading stand. He was a member and elder of the First Presbyterian Church of Ionia, including many years of participation in his church choir. During his years in Ionia, he and Jean raised 3 daughters, Jane (David) MacPherson, Wendy (Alan) Lawson, Tamara (Andy) Byerly, and one son, Tim Smith. In later years, his family grew, to include grandchildren: Andy & Joe Macpherson and Rob & Mary Jean Lawson. He had three great grand children, Carli Crofts and Emma MacPherson (Andy and Kate MacPherson) and first great grandson, Noam MacPherson-Reichel (Joe MacPherson and Nilu Reichel) In retirement, he and Mom moved to Florida where they spent many days, golfing, playing tennis, cheering for their favorite sports teams (Dad was a HUGE sports fan), and enjoying the ocean near Fort Pierce. In 2001, they moved to Tucson, Arizona to be closer to family. A very active senior citizen, Dad enjoyed skiing into his 70’s, golf and tennis into his late 80’s. Dad never stopped learning. He and mom traveled extensively. He understood and appreciated, that we live in a great big beautiful world. Dad led by example. He was our family patriarch. We gathered around him as often as we could, always grateful for the strong foundation he provided, and the life example he set. He was a great teacher because he showed us how to be learners. He worked hard, played hard, laughed a lot, and always made time for his friends and family. He was an inspiration to all who knew him. Dad was our hero. We loved him with all our heart. We ask that those who wish to remember and honor Dad, enjoy some ice cream with your family today, and in future days. How dad loved his ice cream! It was one of those simple pleasures, shared with his loved ones, that seemed to mean as much to him as his career or his travels. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the "Youth in Government" club at Corona del Sol High School, Tempe Arizona, where his son, Tim, has actively promoted the understanding of the U.S. constitution by his high school students, and has led his team of students to national competitions on several occasions. Mail donations: Corona del Sol High School 1001 East Knox Rd, Tempe AZ 85284, attention Youth in Government Club. Donations can also be made to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to help advance research to find better therapies and possibly cures for the cancer that took this good man from us. Donations here: http://www.lls.org/waystohelp/donate/donateonline/
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Perez, Carmen
April 24, 2013
Carmen Perez
April 24, 2013
No biographical information has been entered for Carmen Perez.
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Eriksson, Gunvor
April 23, 2013
Gunvor Eriksson
April 23, 2013
To view Gunvor's Memorial Service, Click Here. Gunvor B. Eriksson, 79, of Tucson (SaddleBrooke) AZ, passed away April 23, 2013. She was born November 1, 1933 to the late Rev. David Korswing and Linnea Korswing. Gunvor, the daughter of a Methodist minister, moved to Alingsas, Sweden where she met her future husband, Lars O. Eriksson. They were married in 1955 then moved to West Chester, PA in 1966. Gunvor was an active member of the United Methodist Church in West Chester PA participating in the church choir and various social groups. In Tucson she joined the Vista de la Montaña UMC in 2000 and enjoyed a variety of church activities. Her main interests were her family, children and granchildren, always lending an ear to hear their happy and sad times and offering hugs and encouraging words. Gunvor is survived by her loving family; husband of 58 years, Lars; children Marie (Wilbur) Jones, Suzanne (Jim) Swarts and Anna (Carl) Hinsman; seven grandchildren, brother Rune (Anne Marie) Korswing, nieces and nephews and foster son Mikael. She was preceded in death by her parents and her sister Gerd Andersson (Folke). A memorial service will be held 10:30 am Friday April 26, 2013 at Vistoso Funeral Home, Oro Valley, AZ. Memorial donations may be made to the Casa de la Luz Hospice 7740 North Oracle Rd, Tucson AZ 85704. Gunvor will be placed in the Memorial Wall of Vista UMC facing the Catalina Mountains that she came to love.
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Gogan III, William
April 21, 2013
William Gogan III
April 21, 2013
William L. Gogan, 55 of Oro Valley, Arizona died Sunday, April 21, 2013 at the Oro Valley Hospital. Bill was born July 11, 1957 in Ord Nebraska to William and Gladys Gogan. He received his education in the Ord Public School System, graduating in 1975. During his high school career, Bill excelled in several sports, which culminated in his participation in the Nebraska Shrine Bowl Football game, where he was named the Most Valuable Offensive Player for the North squad in 1975. Following graduation, he attended the University of Nebraska in Lincoln. Billy moved to California in the early 1980's, where he developed his lifelong passion for food (culinary interests) and the movie industry (writing screen plays). He later relocated to Arizona, ultimately opening and managing the Monsoon restaurants in Flagstaff, Sedona and Prescott, Arizona. In his journey, he met and befriended people from all different paths of life, and was fortunate to have made many friends and special memories. His keen sense of humor and sharp wit will be sorely missed by all. Survivors include his mother, Gladys Gogan of Ord, NE and Oro Valley, AZ, brother Neal (Tracy) Gogan of Thousand Oaks, CA, sisters Jane Johnson of Salida, CO and Nancy (Tim) Beer of Tucson, AZ. Nieces and nephews Derek and Riley Johnson, Lindsay and Ben Gogan and Zoe and Alexander Beer who affectionately called him Uncle Teaser. He was preceded in death by his father William L. Gogan Jr., grandparents Helen ("Gram") and Frank Kokes, and William and Antoinette Gogan. In lieu of donations, the family requests that Billy's friends and acquaintances make a special effort to help someone less fortunate than themselves find their way to a better place, as Billy was known to have done.
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Nitz, Herbert
April 20, 2013
Herbert Nitz
April 20, 2013
To view Herb's Celebration of Life, Click Here. To view Herb's Life Tribute, Click Here. Suddenly Herbert Albert Nitz, Jr. began his last cruise –to Heaven-on April 20, 2013 . Herb was born to Herbert Albert Nitz, Sr. & Estella (Lillibridge) Nitz on August 19, 1927 in Tyro, Montgomery Co., Kansas. Herb graduated from Neodesha , Kansas High School in 1945 and joined the US Navy where he served from1945 to1947 ( mostly aboard the USS Leary). After discharge he attended the University of Missouri and University of Arkansas where he graduated with a B.S. in Education in 1954. At University of Arkansas he met his wife Frances (aka Leslie) Sue Turley on a blind date to attend his Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity spring formal .They would have been married 60 years on July 10, 2013. Sue, and children Herbert Jonathan Nitz of SaddleBrooke and Janci Sue Nitz Matykiewicz (Mrs. Andrew) of Green Cove Springs, Florida and grandchildren Lt. Charles Edward Matykiewicz ,a Navy pilot of the Royal Maces Squadron aboard the USS George Washington and Emily Sue Matykiewicz, graduate student at Florida State University Tallahassee , Fl. survive. Brother Paul G. Nitz ( Helen Zoe) of Siloam Springs, Arkansas , brother in law Dick Conrey of Siloam Springs, brother in law Edward Turley , Jr. (Kate) of Houston, Texas and nieces and nephews also survive. He was predeceased by his brother Jack Dalhart Nitz (an airforce pilot lost in the Sea of Japan in 1960) his parents, Herb & Estella Nitz, and sister Charlene Nitz Conrey and his first son Richard Stephen Nitz who died shortly after birth in 1954. Herb taught Junior High and was assistant football coach in Belton, Missouri and then he taught math and became assistant football coach at Burlington, Kansas High School . He joined Western Electric as an engineer in 1957 in Chicago and was transferred to the SAGE defense project at Stewart Air Force base in Newburgh, New York in 1958. When the SAGE project ended he worked at Bell Labs in Holmdel, New Jersey and then transferred to Illinois Bell Labs. He retired in 1989. He and Sue lived in Wheaton, Illinois for 27 years and moved to SaddleBrooke in 1993. Herb enjoyed people, playing golf, bridge , watching football and reading spy novels. Herb and Sue shared a love of travel; especially attending Elderhostels and cruising. He was a loving husband , father and grandfather and will be greatly missed for his light hearted personality, humor and love. A service will be held at Vistoso Funeral Home , 2285 E. Rancho Vistoso Blvd. , Oro Valley on Monday, April 29th at 3 o’clock P.M. Herb’s ashes will later be buried in Muskogee , Oklahoma . In lieu of flowers a donation may be made to the Muscular Dystrophy Association or to the University of Arkansas library in memory of Herb.
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Sollin, Doris
April 19, 2013
Doris Sollin
April 19, 2013
Doris Fae Valberg Sollin Was born August 31, 1936 in Watertown, South Dakota. The lord came and took her in her sleep on April 19th, 2013. This wonderful lady has no more suffering from lung cancer. Doris’s legacy has no bounds. Her accomplishments in life were unprecedented as she was an inspiration to everyone she met. She graduated from Henry High School in 1954. She was a secretary at Rosemont High School, Rosemont, MN. She headed up the payroll deptartment at Fort Bend School district in Sugarland, TX. She was a lady of all times with her raising of a family, gardening and excellent cooking. Doris enjoyed the sun. She had superior strength and wisdom, and was loved by her family and friends. We were richly blessed to have her and we wait until we see her again. Doris was beautiful inside and out. She had a huge loving heart and would rather give than receive. She was extraordinary, kind and generous with superior strength and courage. We are grateful for the outstanding care she received at Arizona Oncology, the Life Care Center and the hospice facility that made her comfortable and pain free. She is survived by her husband of 58 years, Dale Sollin, Oro Valley, her two sons Dan Sollin and his wife Ruth, Allen, TX, Dean Sollin and his wife Lynn who is fighting cancer, her grandchildren Ben, Blake, Kelli, Lakeville, MN., Brooke, husband Bob, and Nathan, wife Stacy.
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Thompson, Raymond
April 17, 2013
Raymond Thompson
April 17, 2013
To view Ray's Life Tribute, Click Here. To view Ray's memorial service, Click Here. Thompson, Raymond F, 65, of Oro Valley, AZ passed away suddenly at his home April 17, 2013. Ray was born in Washington, DC and graduated with a Master’s degree from Howard University in 1972. He returned to Howard University to teach Modern Literature, later earning a degree in Counseling. He served as Counselor at Prince George’s Community College and the Prince George’s Public Schools in Maryland. Ray and his life partner, Dr. William A. Fry, moved to Oro Valley, AZ in 2001. His passions in retirement were gardening, old movies and his two black Labs, Bertie and Frannie In addition to his partner Bill, Ray leaves behind a close community of loving friends and many cousins. A Celebration of Life will be held 11:00 am, Saturday May 18, 2013 at Vistoso Funeral Home, Oro Valley, AZ. In lieu of flowers donations may be made to The National Association of Black Colleges, the Oro Valley Public Library or Second Baptist Church of Warsaw, VA.
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Gayagas, Dolores
April 13, 2013
Dolores Gayagas
April 13, 2013
No biographical information has been entered for Dolores Gayagas.
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Leon, Larry
April 11, 2013
Larry Leon
April 11, 2013
No biographical information has been entered for Larry Leon.
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Doitch, Erlinda
April 11, 2013
Erlinda Doitch
April 11, 2013
To view Linda's Tribute Video, Click Here. To view Linda's Celebration of Life Video, Click Here. Erlinda Doitch, 71, of San Manuel, AZ found eternal peace with our Lord on April 11, 2013. She is survived by her loving husband of 50 years, William Doitch, her four children, William (Billy) Doitch, Joseph (Joey) Doitch and his wife Jenny Martinez Doitch, Tracey Doitch McCracken and her husband Gregory McCracken, and Stacey Doitch Buzan and her husband Robert Buzan. She was a beloved grandmother of Adam Mancha and his wife Christina, Monique Mancha, Miranda McCracken, Madison McCracken, Kiara Mancha and Brandon Doitch. She has two great grandchildren, Layla Mancha and Hailey Mancha. Born in Tucson, AZ, she lived her entire life in Southern Arizona. After marrying the love of her life, Bill, fifty years ago, they had four children and eventually made their life together in the small mining town of San Manuel, where she lived until her death. She was a woman of many talents and passions, which included cake decorating, cooking, BINGO, making friends wherever she went, and being a loving mother and grandmother. Never one to turn away someone in need, she often had family and friends live with her until they found their way. Her generous spirit and kind heart will be remembered by countless family members, friends, and even strangers. If you were blessed enough to cross paths with her, you were touched by an angel.
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Planning a Funeral
Most of us are not prepared to plan and carry out a funeral ceremony for someone we love. And so much of the information available on this critically important subject fails to focus on what is most important: having a personalized, meaningful funeral that helps families and friends begin the healing process of mourning after the death of someone we love.
This section includes information that will help provide insights necessary to help you and your family create a meaningful funeral experience that both honors the life of your loved one and starts you on the path to healing from your loss. Some of the content on these pages is adapted from a website called www.MeaningfulFunerals.com and the teachings of Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a noted grief expert.
To learn more about Dr. Wolfelt, please visit www.centerforloss.com
Our funeral home's dedicated staff wants to help you and can play a critical role in planning and carrying out a meaningful funeral or memorial service. Our licensed funeral directors are intimately familiar with the funeral planning process, key decisions a grieving family must make, and necessary legal documentation that is required during this difficult time. Our funeral professionals can handle all of the details and help you create a unique service that fits your needs and values.
For more information, please select from the links below:
Meaningful Funerals
"You can have the experience and miss the meaning."
- T.S. Elliott
Meaningful Funerals
Meaningful funeral ceremonies make a significant difference in how families channel their grief toward health and healing. During the funeral, the community comes together and responds to the reality that someone has died, and also to the reality that those remaining will need support, compassion, love, hope, and understanding. The funeral encourages you to think about the person who has died and to explore the meaning of their life and the ways in which they touched the lives of others.
The remembering, reflecting and choices that take place in the planning and conducting of the funeral service are often an important part of the process of grief and mourning. And ultimately, this process of contemplation and discovery creates a memorable and moving funeral experience for all who attend.
Why Have a Funeral?
When we experience the death of someone we love, a funeral service fills several important needs. First, it provides for the dignified and respectful care of the person and special tribute to their life. Equally important, the funeral service helps survivors face the reality of death, which is the first big step toward taking grief from the inside and allowing us to express it on the outside through mourning. Together, close friends and relatives can lend support and consolation when they're needed most.
Learn more at MeaningfulFunerals.com
What Makes a Funeral Meaningful?
No matter what kind of funeral ceremony you are planning, it helps to understand the components of a meaningful funeral. Meaningful funerals are made up of different parts that, when combined together, make for an incredibly emotional experience for you, your family and friends.
Meaningful Choices
Helping You and Your Family Create a Meaningful FuneralThis is a naturally difficult time, compounded by the fact that you are faced with many decisions that must be made as you begin to plan the funeral. You may feel overwhelmed by these decisions. When you are able to make informed choices, you are empowered with the important information needed to plan a meaningful funeral.
This is not the time to deny your need to mourn and embrace painful feelings of grief in the coming days. You may feel deep sadness as you plan this funeral and begin to acknowledge the reality that someone who you love has died. But when all is said and done, you will feel deep satisfaction that you helped plan a meaningful tribute or ceremony for someone who meant so much to your own life, and you will be on the path to a healthy grieving process.
Making Informed Funeral Choices
After selecting a funeral home, you and your family will choose the type of funeral service to hold, what will happen to the body and where it will be laid to rest. How a body will be cared for after death is an important decision. Whether you choose burial or cremation, you can use elements of ceremony to honor the life of your loved one and to allow you and your family to say goodbye in a meaningful way.
Key Choices
Key Choices Needed to be Made for a Meaningful Funeral As you begin to think about the funeral and the many options you have, you may be faced with the conflict of honoring the wishes of the person who died as well as your own wishes as survivors. While it is natural to want to meet the requests of the person who died, do consider changes that will be helpful to you, your family and friends. Begin a Family ConversationIt is often helpful to have a family conversation before going to see a funeral director. This can be a time for expressing your grief together as well as a time for some initial decision-making. Try as best you can to include everyone in the discussion. No one should feel left out.
The Arrangement ConferenceYou may have already scheduled a time to meet with your funeral director to help you plan the funeral. This meeting is called the “arrangement conference.” During the arrangement conference, the funeral director will explain all of the choices available to you and your family, help you make decisions to create your unique funeral, and gather important information about the person who died to complete necessary documents. Above all else, the funeral director will assist you in both arranging for and carrying out a meaningful funeral.
What Kind of Funeral Service Will You Have?You can choose from a variety of funeral service types and formats. Some people think funerals must conform to traditional ways, but there is no one right way to have a funeral. Just as grief has many dimensions and is experienced in different ways by different people, funerals are also unique. A funeral should simply be fitting for the person who died and the family and friends who survive them. This is an opportunity to be creative and to share an honest expression of your most heartfelt values. There are no rigid rules that need to be followed, but there are guidelines that can help you if you are unsure how you might proceed.
Burial Considerations
Planning a meaningful funeral for a loved one is a ritual that almost all of us will encounter at some point in our lives. As you consider the various aspects of a funeral where burial is the final disposition, there are several elements that you can and will need to select in order to create a touching tribute for your loved one. These things will also provide comfort to those who are living as you pay your final respects.
Service and Ceremony
Service and CeremonyChoosing Burial
Planning a meaningful funeral for a loved one is a ritual that almost all of us will encounter at some point in our lives. As you consider the various aspects of a funeral where burial is the final disposition, there are several elements that you can and will need to select in order to create a touching tribute for your loved one. These things will also provide comfort to those who are living as you pay your final respects.
The Burial Committal ServiceWhen burial is chosen, the graveside ceremony is the final opportunity to say goodbye. Accompanying a body to its final resting place and saying a few last words brings a necessary feeling of closure to the funeral process. Families are often deeply touched by this ceremony, and its memory resonates for years. A meaningful committal service not only helps us acknowledge the reality and finality of the death, it also symbolizes the separation that the death has created. It is an essential ingredient of a meaningful funeral experience.
Direct BurialA direct burial is when there is no funeral service, but instead simply final disposition of the body by the funeral home.
A word from Dr. Alan Wolfelt
If you are considering direct burial, I plead with you to reconsider. Honoring the life and death of the person who died with some sort of ceremony - no matter how brief, how small or how informal - will help your family acknowledge the reality of the death and begin to heal. When no ceremony is held, it is as if the life and death of the person who died had no significance to anyone. Also keep in mind that you may still hold a committal service at the gravesite should you choose direct burial.
Think carefully about the many options available to you and your family. Slow down and plan. It is through planning that a meaningful funeral experience is created. And do remember that funeral directors, clergy, celebrants and close friends who have done these things before can all be valuable resources to you. You are not alone!
Burial Products and Personalization
Burial Products and PersonalizationCaskets
Casket Choices
The casket typically becomes the visual and emotional focal point of the funeral service, and just as important, serves as the final resting place for your loved one. The casket you choose can be more than just a burial vessel - it can become a touching reminder of all that made your loved one special. When selecting a casket, the first decision is typically the casket material - wood or metal.
The casket material chosen is often selected because it reflects the personality of your loved one. Wood is traditionally valued for its warmth and natural beauty, while metal is treasured for its strength, durability and elegance. Various factors impact the value of the finished product, including the species of wood or type of metal. Additional considerations include the design of the casket such as shape, color, interior fabric and hardware. Each of these can make a statement about the beloved individual, as can the features that allow you to create personal tributes to your loved one. These choices affect the overall appearance of the casket, as well as its value.
Metal Caskets
Metal CasketsMetal caskets, including those made from bronze, copper, stainless steel and steel, are known for their unique finishes. Bronze and copper are among the most durable and beautiful of metals; both are naturally non-rusting. Stainless and carbon steel caskets come in a variety of grades, gauges, styles and finishes. Many metal caskets contain features that help resist the entrance of outside elements.
Bronze & Copper CasketsBronze and Copper caskets combine quality construction and beautiful finishes. Many families choose these materials because they are superior to all other casket materials in strength, durability and naturally non-rusting qualities. Tools, ornaments and other artifacts from these materials can be seen in museums dating back as far as 5,000 years. A wide variety of styles, colors and features in bronze and copper are available, allowing you to select a casket that is suited to individual preferences.
Stainless SteelStainless steel is known for its quality and longevity, making it a valued material for casket construction. It is available in different grades, which are determined by the amount of chromium and nickel content — the higher the content, the higher the quality and strength of the steel and its corrosion-resistant qualities.
Carbon SteelCarbon steel caskets are available in multiple grades, for example (from thickest to thinnest): 16 gauge, 18 gauge and 20 gauge. While not as durable or resistant to corrosion as stainless steel, copper or bronze, a wide selection of colors, finishes and personalization features make these caskets an attractive choice.
Wood Caskets
Wood CasketsHardwood caskets include a variety of species: mahogany, walnut, cherry, sycamore, maple, oak, pecan, select hardwood and pine. Families who choose these caskets appreciate the qualities of natural wood. The warmth, beauty and personality it brings to fine furniture is also well suited for the construction of caskets. Some wood caskets are manufactured from solid specie wood, and others are constructed with high-quality veneers.
MahoganyMahogany is used extensively for high-grade furniture and cabinetry. It has a well-earned reputation because of its attractive grain pattern and beautiful natural luster.
WalnutConsidered a wood of beauty, walnut boasts a striking grain color and pattern. Walnut is warm and inviting, dignified and elegant, and engenders a pride of ownership. Having a natural lustrous patina, walnut is also known for its strength and durability.
CherryCherry is one of the most popular hardwoods. Because of its strength and stability, cherry is often used for burial caskets, paneling and gun stocks. Its rich, warm look and creamy, reddish color make it attractive.
MapleMaple is valued for its strength, wear resistance and beauty, making it a popular choice for flooring, especially for heavily trafficked areas such as a ballroom. But it's also a popular material used in making caskets. Maple is evenly textured with a natural luster. While the grain is usually straight, it can also be wavy or curly.
PecanPrized for the delicious pecan nut, pecan trees also produce a strong and heavy hardwood. Pecan is light in color and is often found in the construction of beautiful furniture and architectural paneling.
OakOak is a popular furniture and flooring favorite. This durable wood is used for doors, paneling, home furnishings and caskets. Oak has a prominent grain pattern that can be either tight or coarse, depending on the species.
PinePine has been popular since colonial times. There are nearly 100 species of pine, ranging in color from pale yellow to light brown. Though not technically classified as a “hardwood,” it is considered to be a durable wood, usually straight grained with an even texture.
HardwoodHardwood is a cost effective, yet attractive, solid wood product made from select wood species including poplar and cottonwood.
VeneerVeneering has been a standard in the fine furniture industry for more than 50 years. Veneered wood caskets incorporate quality craftsmanship with premium wood veneers and engineered wood composites that create a look and finish of warmth and beauty that many families are drawn to with solid wood caskets.
Personalize with Burial Casket Features
Specially designed features are available with many caskets today, and serve as another visual way to create an impactful and emotional expression during the service. There are numerous features and flexible ways to personalize a casket that reflect the personality and interests of your loved one. One such feature incorporates artistic designs that can pay tribute to an individual's life of service, passions and interests. These designs can be attached to the corners of many different types of caskets. Another unique feature available on select caskets is a special drawer where you can display cherished mementos during the service and place private farewell messages that can then remain in the casket with your loved one at their final resting place.
Several unique panel designs for the lid of the casket are also available, and each one offers its own dignified approach to serve as a special place and focal point for families to recall a life story and highlight the personal facets that made their loved one special. There are select caskets with panels that allow you to display artistically crafted medallions that can serve as a visual eulogy, allowing you to highlight the most meaningful roles and relationships of your loved one's life.
Some caskets include a pleated panel that enables you to display cherished photos and personal mementos near your loved one. Insertable panels are also available that include embroidered designs with tributes focused on relationships, service, passions and interests. In some cases, you can design or customize your own embroidered panel if standard offerings do not deliver that final personal touch. Some of the same embroidery designs can also be applied to other casket interiors, such as the casket overthrow or pillow.
Burial Casket Features that Encourage RemembranceMany of the designs and features used with the casket can also serve as personal memorial keepsakes, such as the medallions or corner designs. In order to allow healing to begin, it's important to accept that the everyday relationship with the loved one has moved from physical reality to memory. Many people find it helpful to have tangible reminders of their loved one, including items and symbols that relate to the final celebration of life. Keepsakes of various types, such as medallions, can also be engraved with the loved one's name and dates, or special designs that create even more meaningful and touching remembrances for current and future generations.
Ask your funeral director for more information on what is available to help personalize and encourage remembrance during the funeral of your loved one. They can guide you through the selection process and help you make informed choices.
Remembrance JewelryDesigned to hold a lock of hair, flower petals, earth from the gravesite or a small portion of cremated remains, keepsake jewelry is a unique way to hold a loved one close with a fashionable and lasting remembrance.
Burial VaultsBurial Vault Choices
Burial vaults are lined units that enclose the casket when it is placed at the gravesite and are designed to prevent the weight of soil and heavy equipment from damaging the casket. There are no laws that require the use of outer containers, but cemeteries often require their use, as it reduces the chance that soil over the grave will settle and helps with general gravesite maintenance and appearance.
Burial vaults are available in a variety of materials including metal, concrete and composite materials.
Unlined Outer Burial ContainerUnlined outer burial containers, or grave liners, are usually constructed of wood or concrete and may improve the appearance of the grave. These products provide a barrier that keeps soil and debris away from the casket during the closing of the grave. Some grave liners also provide structural protection from the weight of soil and heavy equipment. As these products are unlined, they provide no protection to the casket from soil and/or water making their way past the outer container unit.
Metal VaultMetal vaults are available in a variety of materials, including bronze, copper, stainless steel, galvanized and aluminum. These two-piece enclosures offer protection from the weight of soil and cemetery equipment, as well as keep the elements away from the casket. Some metal vaults feature beautiful ornamental details and can be personalized to honor your loved one.
Concrete VaultConcrete vaults are outer closures that provide structural protection from the weight of soil and heavy equipment and offer additional protection from soil reaching the casket. Concrete vaults are available in many styles including undecorated concrete finishes, metal wrapped tops and interiors, and simulated wood grain or natural stone finishes. Concrete vaults can typically weigh more than 2,000 pounds and can require additional costs for transport and placement.
Polymer VaultBurial vaults constructed of non-porous polyethylene and polypropylene material provide the benefits of being lightweight, impact-resistant and water-resistant. Polymer vaults can be constructed in multiple layers for added strength and durability. Their ease of handling also reduces cemetery labor costs and the need for heavy equipment during transportation and gravesite placement. Vault styles are available that can be personalized to help honor your loved one.
The Living Memorial ProgramBatesville's Living Memorial® Program is a unique and special way to honor the memory of a loved one. When you select a Batesville® burial product or an Options® cremation product, arrangements are made for a tree seedling to be planted as a living tribute - at no additional cost to you.
Seedlings are planted in national forests in cooperation with the U.S. Forest Service, The Canadian Forestry Association, The Grand River Conservation Foundation, and other international organizations to re-establish woodlands destroyed by forest fires, blight and other natural disasters. You will receive a special letter that verifies a tree has been planted where the need is greatest.
Cemetery Space, Monuments and Grave Markers
Cemetery Space, Monuments and Grave MarkersCemetery Space
Perhaps your family already owns a cemetery plot where the person who has died will be buried. If not, maybe you've noticed a nice local cemetery. Your funeral director will know which cemeteries are nearby and can help you purchase cemetery plots appropriate for your needs.
Traditionally, families have chosen to bury their loved ones in a cemetery. Entombment, which is the placement of the casketed body in an above-ground structure called a mausoleum, also takes place at a cemetery. When a casket is entombed, it is placed in an enclosure (called a crypt), and the front is usually sealed and faced with either marble or granite.
Many families choose burial or entombment at a nearby cemetery because it allows them to visit the gravesite as often as they like. This helps them continue to feel close to the person who died, while still acknowledging the death.
Because so many aspects should be considered when purchasing a cemetery plot, you may want to consider discussing the options in advance. Questions you may want to consider include:
- Does the plot meet my religious requirements?
- Are there any restrictions I need to consider based on the type of monument or burial vault?
- Does the plot include perpetual care and maintenance?
- Are plots available in the same location to provide for burial of the entire family?
Also called headstones, grave markers are used in cemeteries to memorialize and identify the gravesite of the person who has died. You may want to personalize the grave marker by including a poem, a drawing or a short phrase that defines the person who died.
Monuments and grave markers are available in a variety of materials, including natural stone, concrete and bronze. Styles can range from very simple to ornate, as single markers or companion monuments.
Sharing Memories
Sharing MemeoriesMemorial Websites
When someone we love dies, we often feel the need to share their story and the story of our loss with family, friends and our extended communities. A recent trend has been to memorialize loved ones by creating a website that honors their memory and mourns the loss.
The website can be created to house online video tributes and even guestbook memories collected at the funeral from family and friends. Some funeral homes offer this as a service, or you may be technologically savvy enough to build your own. Your imagination is your only limit to sharing memories and honoring your loved one.
Keepsake BooksFriends and relatives often share memories, stories, photos and condolences in guest books, both at the funeral and on the funeral home's website. At the funeral, invite people to write down a memory of the person who died. Ask children if they would like to write a letter or draw a picture for the person. Their “goodbyes” can then be saved for the keepsake book or even placed in the casket alongside the body. Many funeral homes offer keepsake book publishing services that collect and document these important memories.
Video TributesA video tribute is a unique way to personalize a memorial service - giving you and your family the opportunity to pause and reflect on the life of the person you knew and love. These touching montages can consist of music, photos, memorabilia, or newspaper articles that take viewers through the life of the person who has died.
Your video tribute can be played during the funeral service, during a visitation, or at any other time you and your funeral service professional decide upon. Many funeral homes can also post your video tribute to their website so that others can view it at any time. Tributes can also be made into DVDs or saved electronically for your family to keep. Your funeral home may offer this service or can recommend a local vendor who specializes in this area.
Cremation Considerations
When choosing cremation, it is important not only to capture the memories and celebrate the spirit of your loved one, but also to provide healing through gathering together, paying tribute and celebrating a life well lived.
Keep in mind that cremation does not limit your ability to spend time with the body of your loved one or hold a meaningful ceremony. You may have a visitation period and a funeral service prior to the cremation. Or your family may spend time privately with the body before cremation, followed by a public ceremony a day or two later with the urn present. You may want to consider keeping your loved one's body present for the funeral ceremony as it often encourages more expressions of grief and authentic mourning.
What Happens During Cremation
Cremation is another form of disposition or handling a body after death. However, many people don't know what happens during cremation.
Cremation takes place in a carefully maintained facility known as a crematory or crematorium. The funeral home may or may not have its own crematory on site, but your funeral director can take care of all arrangements either way.
Within the crematory is a special cremation chamber. The body is placed in a cremation container or casket and positioned inside the cremation chamber. Once the container or casket is in the cremation chamber, the door is tightly sealed. The operator then turns on gas jets, which create intense heat that reduces the body to bone fragments. This process takes approximately 2-3 hours.
After the cremation, the remains are collected and processed to the consistency of sand or a finer ash. The white or grayish remains, often called cremated remains at this stage, are then sealed in a transparent plastic bag along with an identification tag. The bag weighs about 5 lbs. and will often be returned to the family in a selected urn, which can then be buried, placed in a niche inside a columbarium, taken home or transported for scattering. Additionally, the cremated remains can be separated and placed into multiple urns, keepsakes or even jewelry specifically designed as a final resting place.
Cremation is a respectful, dignified process chosen by many families. However, some faiths discourage or prohibit cremation. If you plan to hold a religious funeral ceremony or have the remains buried in a church cemetery, check in advance to make sure there are no issues.
Service and Ceremony
Choosing CremationThis journey marks a new beginning; now is the most important time to come together and recount the fond memories that tell the story of your loved one. A variety of choices are available to create a loving memorial, bringing together family and friends for a final goodbye. Meaningful ceremonies with personalized memorials can be as unique as the loved one being remembered
When choosing cremation, the ceremony is a way to inform the community of a loved one's passing, tell their story and celebrate their life. A ceremony is most meaningful when it reflects your loved one's relationships, interests, and the moments you shared. Memorializing your loved one when choosing cremation may include one or any combination of the following options.
ConventionalFriends and family gather for a tribute prior to cremation, often with the decedent present, which draws support and allows family and friends to say goodbye.
MemorialThis gathering of friends and family following cremation often features the memorial urn as the ceremony's centerpiece and allows family and friends to recall memories and support one another.
PrivateA small gathering and informal family farewell takes place in a private setting and offers the chance to say goodbye, allowing family and friends to recall memories and support one another.
Direct CremationA direct cremation is when there is no funeral service or memorial service, but instead simply final disposition of the body by the funeral home or memorial society.
A word from Dr. Alan Wolfelt
If you are considering direct cremation, I plead with you to reconsider. Honoring the life and death of the person who died with some sort of ceremony - no matter how brief, how small or how informal - will help your family acknowledge the reality of the death and begin to heal. When no ceremony is held, it is as if the life and death of the person who died had no significance to anyone. Also keep in mind that you may still hold a committal service at the gravesite or crematory should you choose direct cremation.
Think carefully about the many options available to you and your family. Slow down and plan. It is through planning that a meaningful funeral experience is created. And do remember that funeral directors, clergy, celebrants and close friends who have done these things before can all be valuable resources to you. You are not alone!
Cremation Caskets and Containers
The selection of a cremation casket is just as important as the selection of the ceremony and will complement the tribute designed for the one being remembered. Before cremation, during the ceremony, and at the time of cremation, the casket or container is the resting place that gives dignity to your loved one. It may also be where you will see your loved one for the last time.
Cremation CasketCremation caskets are made of wood and available in a wide variety of styles that are suitable for services with a visitation, viewing or a gathering held prior to the cremation. The warmth, beauty and personality wood brings to fine furniture is well suited for the construction of caskets. Depending on your selection, cremation caskets can be personalized to fit your needs with accessories like custom tribute panels or custom embroidered interiors.
Wood Selections for Cremation Caskets
Hardwood caskets include a variety of species: mahogany, walnut, cherry, sycamore, maple, oak, pecan, select hardwood and pine. Families who choose these caskets appreciate the qualities of natural wood. The warmth, beauty and personality it brings to fine furniture is also well suited for the construction of caskets. Some wood caskets are manufactured from solid specie wood, and others are constructed with high-quality veneers.
MahoganyMahogany is used extensively for high-grade furniture and cabinetry. It has a well-earned reputation because of its attractive grain pattern and beautiful natural luster.
WalnutConsidered a wood of beauty, walnut boasts a striking grain color and pattern. Walnut is warm and inviting, dignified and elegant, and engenders a pride of ownership. Having a natural lustrous patina, walnut is also known for its strength and durability.
CherryCherry is one of the most popular hardwoods. Because of its strength and stability, cherry is often used for burial caskets, paneling and gun stocks. Its rich, warm look and creamy, reddish color make it attractive.
MapleMaple is valued for its strength, wear resistance and beauty, making it a popular choice for flooring, especially for heavily trafficked areas such as a ballroom. But it's also a popular material used in making caskets. Maple is evenly textured with a natural luster. While the grain is usually straight, it can also be wavy or curly.
PecanPrized for the delicious pecan nut, pecan trees also produce a strong and heavy hardwood. Pecan is light in color and is often found in the construction of beautiful furniture and architectural paneling.
OakOak is a popular furniture and flooring favorite. This durable wood is used for doors, paneling, home furnishings and caskets. Oak has a prominent grain pattern that can be either tight or coarse, depending on the species.
PinePine has been popular since colonial times. There are nearly 100 species of pine, ranging in color from pale yellow to light brown. Though not technically classified as a “hardwood,” it is considered to be a durable wood, usually straight grained with an even texture.
HardwoodHardwood is a cost effective, yet attractive, solid wood product made from select wood species including poplar and cottonwood.
VeneerVeneering has been a standard in the fine furniture industry for more than 50 years. Veneered wood caskets incorporate quality craftsmanship with premium wood veneers and engineered wood composites that create a look and finish of warmth and beauty that many families are drawn to with solid wood caskets.
In recent years, casket manufacturers have addressed the need for larger-sized caskets. Available in many of the same materials, colors, finishes and designs as in traditional-sized caskets, oversize caskets offer a more comfortable fit for your loved one when required.
Cremation ContainersCremation containers are made from both composite and solid wood components and are fully combustible. These are most appropriate when a private viewing has been scheduled.
Memorial Urns
Memorial Urn ChoicesThe urn or personalized memorial will become the final resting place for your loved one. The selection of the urn typically complements the final placement, whether buried in a cemetery, placed in a niche, or placed as a treasured touchstone in the home or garden. It can also become an ideal medium to facilitate ceremonial scattering. The urn or personal memorial you select will provide dignity, respect and a lasting tribute.
Final Placement ChoicesUrns are available in a wide variety of styles and materials. What's right for you will depend on your choice of final placement as well as personal tastes.
Burial
With the growing number of cremations, more families are choosing to bury the cremated remains of their loved ones as a way to provide a permanent place for future visitation. Many families choose burial or entombment at a nearby cemetery because it allows them to visit the gravesite as often as they like. This helps them continue to feel close to the person who died, while still acknowledging the death. Your funeral director will know which cemeteries are nearby and would best meet your needs. He or she can help you purchase cemetery plots appropriate to your needs.
Monuments and Grave MarkersAlso called headstones, grave markers are used in cemeteries to memorialize and identify the gravesite of the person who has died. To personalize the funeral service, you may want to personalize the grave marker. You can include a poem, a drawing or a short phrase that defines the person who died.
Monuments and grave markers are available in a variety of materials, including natural stone, concrete and bronze. Styles can range from very simple to very ornate, as single markers or companion monuments.
Cemetery PlotsCemetery Burial
Perhaps your family already owns a cemetery plot where the person who has died will be buried. If not, maybe you've noticed a nice local cemetery. Your funeral director will know which cemeteries are nearby and can help you purchase cemetery plots appropriate for your needs.
Traditionally, families have chosen to bury their loved ones in a cemetery. Entombment, which is the placement of the casketed body in an above-ground structure called a mausoleum, also takes place at a cemetery. When a casket is entombed, it is placed in an enclosure (called a crypt), and the front is usually sealed and faced with either marble or granite.
Many families choose burial or entombment at a nearby cemetery because it allows them to visit the gravesite as often as they like. This helps them continue to feel close to the person who died, while still acknowledging the death.
Because so many aspects should be considered when purchasing a cemetery plot, you may want to consider discussing the options in advance. Questions you may want to consider include:
- Does the plot meet my religious requirements?
- Are there any restrictions I need to consider based on the type of monument or burial vault?
- Does the plot include perpetual care and maintenance?
- Are plots available in the same location to provide for burial of the entire family?
Niche
A niche is a recessed compartment typically found in a columbarium or mausoleum to hold an urn. The niche may be open-front, protected by glass (this option allows viewing of the urn), or closed-front, faced with bronze, marble or granite. Generally, the urn containing the cremated remains is placed inside the niche and the front is sealed. Many urn styles can be placed in a niche.
Ceremonial Scattering
Complete or ceremonial scattering is a symbolic release of your loved one back into the world. This can be done in a variety of ways. Biodegradable urns made of unbleached pressed cotton can facilitate underground or water scattering. Some urns are designed for ceremonial scattering and are therefore lightweight, easy to open and safe to hold at multiple angles.
Home Display
You may want to memorialize your loved one in your home after cremation. Many urn styles provide a touching and discreet way to hold the memory of your loved one close. Urns are available in natural stone like marble, a variety of metals such as bronze and copper, and beautiful wood finishes like oak, cherry or mahogany. Cast acrylic and cast bronze statuary art urns are also available in a variety of styles. Products for memorials in the garden or landscape, including wind chimes, birdbaths and sundials, are also an option.
Personalizing and Customizing the Memorial
To add a heartfelt and individual touch, your loved one's personalized life story message can be applied throughout the ceremony or gathering, as well as to the container, memorial urn and keepsakes you choose. Smaller urns, keepsakes, and remembrance jewelry can be given to family members and close friends.
Urn Vaults
The urn or personalized memorial will become the final resting place for your loved one. The selection of the urn typically complements the final placement, whether buried in a cemetery, placed in a niche, or placed as a treasured touchstone in the home or garden. It can also become an ideal medium to facilitate ceremonial scattering. The urn or personal memorial you select will provide dignity, respect and a lasting tribute.
Urn vaults are lined units that enclose the urn when it is placed at the gravesite. They are designed to prevent the weight of soil and heavy equipment from damaging the urn and environmental protection. There are no laws that require the use of urn vaults, but cemeteries often require their use as they prevent the grave from settling and help with general gravesite maintenance and appearance.
Urn vaults are available in a variety of materials, including cultured granite, metal, concrete and composite materials or a combination of materials. Urn vault options also include a large selection of interiors, including smooth or textured finishes as well as fabric choices. Urn vault styles are available that can be personalized to help honor your loved one.
Sharing Memories
Memorial WebsitesWhen someone we love dies, we often feel the need to share their story and the story of our loss with family, friends and our extended communities. A recent trend has been to memorialize loved ones by creating a website that honors their memory and mourns the loss.
The website can be created to house online video tributes and even guestbook memories collected at the funeral from family and friends. Some funeral homes offer this as a service, or you may be technologically savvy enough to build your own. Your imagination is your only limit to sharing memories and honoring your loved one.
Keepsake BooksFriends and relatives often share memories, stories, photos and condolences in guest books, both at the funeral and on the funeral home's website. At the funeral, invite people to write down a memory of the person who died. Ask children if they would like to write a letter or draw a picture for the person. Their “goodbyes” can then be saved for the keepsake book or even placed in the casket alongside the body. Many funeral homes offer keepsake book publishing services that collect and document these important memories.
Video TributesA video tribute is a unique way to personalize a memorial service - giving you and your family the opportunity to pause and reflect on the life of the person you knew and love. These touching montages can consist of music, photos, memorabilia, or newspaper articles that take viewers through the life of the person who has died.
Your video tribute can be played during the funeral service, during a visitation, or at any other time you and your funeral service professional decide upon. Many funeral homes can also post your video tribute to their website so that others can view it at any time. Tributes can also be made into DVDs or saved electronically for your family to keep. Your funeral home may offer this service or can recommend a local vendor who specializes in this area.
Keepsakes & Remembrance Jewelry
Keepsake urns are smaller versions of full size urns and are manufactured to hold a small portion of cremated remains, a lock of hair or ceremonial flowers. Keepsake urns allow you to share your loved one's cremated remains with family and close friends.
Designed to hold a small portion of cremated remains, a lock of hair, flower petals, or earth from the gravesite, keepsake jewelry is a unique and elegant way to hold a loved one close with a fashionable and lasting remembrance. Available in men's and women's styles, consider selecting a matching piece for family members or friends to share a special and lasting bond.
Living Memorial
Batesville's Living Memorial® Program is a unique and special way to honor the memory of a loved one. When you select a Batesville® burial product or an Options® cremation product, arrangements are made for a tree seedling to be planted as a living tribute - at no additional cost to you.
Seedlings are planted in national forests in cooperation with the U.S. Forest Service, The Canadian Forestry Association, The Grand River Conservation Foundation, and other international organizations to re-establish woodlands destroyed by forest fires, blight and other natural disasters. You will receive a special letter that verifies a tree has been planted where the need is greatest.
Guides and Resources
When a loved one dies, grieving family members and friends are often confronted with dozens of decisions about the funeral.
This section is designed to give you an overview of frequently asked questions as well as provide additional support, grief resources and other important information that may help you at this difficult time.
FAQs to Planning a Meaningful Funeral
FAQs to Planning a Meaningful FuneralAs you and your family begin the funeral planning process, a number of questions will surface that you will need further insight on in order to make nformed decisions. Below please find a number of frequently asked questions and clarifications on misconceptions of funerals that may help you as you plan a meaningful funeral to honor the unique life of your loved one.
Why do I need to plan a funeral for my loved one?One of the most important reasons for planning a meaningful funeral is that it helps you and your family focus your thoughts and feelings on something positive. The funeral encourages you to think about the person who died and explore the meaning of their life and the ways in which they touched the lives of others.
The remembering, reflecting and choices that take place in the planning and conducting of the funeral service are often an important part of the process of grief and mourning. And ultimately, this process of contemplation and discovery creates a memorable and moving funeral experience for all who attend.
What makes a funeral meaningful?Meaningful funerals are made up of different parts (music, readings, visitation/reception, eulogy/remembrance memories, symbols, procession, committal service and gathering) that, when combined, make for an incredibly meaningful experience for you, your family and friends. Even among different faiths and cultures, funeral ceremonies throughout North America often include many of the same elements. Your faith or culture may have its own variations on these elements and you should be encouraged to follow them as you see fit.
Who should I turn to for help to plan a meaningful funeral?The funeral home and its staff play a critical role in the planning and conducting of a meaningful funeral. They are the people with the training and expertise you will rely on in the days leading up to the funeral. Their advice, compassion, attention to detail and willingness to personalize the ceremony will greatly influence your funeral experience.
What kind of funeral service should I have?You can choose from a variety of funeral service types and formats. Some people think that funerals must conform to traditional ways, but there is no one right way to have a funeral. Just as grief has many dimensions and is experienced in different ways by different people, funerals are also unique. A funeral should simply be fitting for the person who died and the family and friends who survive. This is an opportunity to be creative and to share an honest expression of your most heartfelt values. There are no rigid rules that need to be followed, but there are guidelines that can help you if you are unsure how you might proceed.
How do I ensure the funeral is personalized?The funeral service you plan should be as special as the life you will be remembering. Here are a few ideas:
- Write a personalized obituary.
- Create a column in the guest book for people to jot down a memory after they sign their name.
- Display personal items and hobby items on a table at the visitation.
- Show a DVD or slide show of the person's life during the funeral.
- Select flowers that were meaningful to the person who died.
- Use a lot of music, especially if music was meaningful to the person who died or means something to your family.
- At the funeral, invite people to write down a memory of the person who died. Appoint someone to gather and read the memories aloud.
- Create a personalized grave marker.
Your family must choose not only the type of funeral service to hold but also what will happen to the body and where it will be laid to rest.
Embalming is how the funeral home temporarily preserves the body of the person who died so it can be viewed by the family. Embalming also allows a number of days to elapse before burial and cremation, thus giving family and friends time to prepare and gather for the funeral.
The body of the person who died is the most important symbol to include in the funeral service. Whether present in an open or unopened casket, the body serves as the emotional focus for mourners and helps them acknowledge and embrace their pain. When a body or cremated remains are buried or scattered, there is a “place” for families to go when they want to feel close to their loved one.
Families who have spent time with the body have said it has helped them come to terms with the death and begin to transition from life before the death to life after the death. Although it can be emotionally painful, time spent with the body is often helpful to many people.
If my loved one is being cremated, what happens during cremation?Cremation is another form of disposition or handling a body after death. However, many people don't know what happens during cremation.
Cremation takes place in a carefully maintained facility known as a crematory or crematorium. The funeral home may or may not have its own crematory on site, but your funeral director can take care of all arrangements either way.
Within the crematory is a special cremation chamber. The body is placed in a cremation container or casket and positioned inside the cremation chamber. Once the container or casket is in the cremation chamber, the door is tightly sealed. The operator then turns on gas jets, which create intense heat that reduces the body to bone fragments. This process takes approximately 2-3 hours.
After the cremation, the remains are collected and processed to the consistency of sand or a finer ash. The white or grayish remains, often called cremated remains at this stage, are then sealed in a transparent plastic bag along with an identification tag. The bag weighs about 5 lbs. and will often be returned to the family in a selected urn, which can then be buried, placed in a niche inside a columbarium, taken home or transported for scattering. Additionally, the cremated remains can be separated and placed into multiple urns, keepsakes or even jewelry specifically designed as a final resting place.
Cremation is a respectful, dignified process chosen by many families. However, some faiths discourage or prohibit cremation. If you plan to hold a religious funeral ceremony or have the remains buried in a church cemetery, check in advance to make sure there are no issues.
Should I involve our children in the funeral?Most of the rituals in our society focus on children. Unfortunately, the funeral ritual, whose purpose is to help mourners begin to heal, is often not seen as a ritual for kids. Too often, children are not included in the funeral because adults want to protect them.
Funerals are painful, but children have the same rights and privileges to participate in them as adults do.
Here are ways to appropriately include children:
- Help explain the funeral to them - Tell children what will happen before, during and after the ceremony. Give as many specifics as they seem interested in hearing.
- If the body will be viewed either at a visitation or at the funeral itself, let the child know this in advance. Explain what the casket and body will look like. If the body is to be cremated, explain what cremation means and what will happen to the cremated remains.
- Find age-appropriate ways for children to take part in the funeral - grieving children feel included when they can share a favorite memory or read a special poem as part of the funeral. Shyer children can participate by lighting a candle or placing something special in the casket (a memento, a drawing, a letter or a photo).
- Understand that children often need to accept their grief in doses, and that outward signs of grief may come and go. It is not unusual, for example, for children to want to roughhouse with their cousins during the visitation or play video games right after the funeral. Respect the child's need to be a child during this extraordinarily difficult time.
Glossary of Funeral Terms
Glossary of Funeral TermsAs the planning begins, you may be introduced to new words and terms that are associated with the funeral planning process. We have provided a quick glossary for your reference.
- Arrangement conference - The meeting with the funeral director in which you discuss your wishes for the funeral and the disposition of the body
- Burial - Also called interment, earth burial at a cemetery is the most traditional method for final disposition of the body
- Celebrant - A person who provides personalized services to a family to create a meaningful ceremony or ritual during a life transition
- Columbarium - An above-ground structure for final disposition of cremated remains
- Committal service - A brief graveside ceremony held with the casket or urn present before it is lowered into the ground
- Cremation - A form of disposition that involves reducing the body through intense heat to cremated remains
- Crypt - An above ground burial site in a mausoleum
- Direct cremation - Cremation without a funeral or memorial service
- Embalming - A method of preserving the body for a number of days following the death, allowing the family to view the body and hold the funeral service on a day that is convenient for out-of-town friends and relatives
- Entombment - Placement of the casket in an above-ground structure called a mausoleum
- Funeral - The ceremony that honors the end of a person's life
- Grave liner - An unlined outer burial container
- Honorarium - The fee typically paid to a clergyperson or celebrant for officiating the funeral ceremony and to musicians or soloists for their contributions
- Mausoleum - A small building in a cemetery that is like a burial plot above the ground
- Niche - One of a number of recesses in the wall of a columbarium where the urn containing cremated remains is placed
- Obituary - A notice in the newspaper that announces the death to the community, summarizes the person's life and invites readers to attend the funeral and/or make memorial contributions in the name of the person who died
- Pallbearers - The people who carry the casket from the ceremony to the hearse and from the hearse to the gravesite
- Urn - A small vase-like container specially designed for holding cremated remains
- Vault - A concrete or metal container into which the casket is placed before burial at a cemetery
- Visitation - A scheduled time for family and friends to see the person who died, perhaps for the final time
Pre-Planning
PreplanningThe Advantages of Planning Ahead
The idea behind planning ahead is simple. One day, a great deal of vital information about you or a loved one will be needed by your family and anyone whose responsibility it is to assist them. Those who plan ahead can be assured that, not only will their personal wishes be fulfilled, but other unnecessary difficulties will be avoided.
Both you and your loved ones can benefit when funeral arrangements are made well ahead of need. It can be beneficial to include your immediate family in those plans, ensuring those left behind are aware of your wishes and able to plan a meaningful funeral that will help them begin their mourning. By discussing plans in advance, you can take all the time necessary to make decisions about cremation or burial, type of ceremony and other funeral elements.
You may want to discuss your thoughts and decisions with your family and a funeral service professional. The Meaningful Funerals Companion Guide can be used to capture your wishes and biographical information in advance. Upon completion, simply store it in a safe place with your other important documents.
Recommended Reading
Recommended ReadingMost of us are not prepared to plan and carry out a funeral ceremony for the death of someone we love. And so much of the information available on this critically important subject fails to focus on what is most important: having a personalized, meaningful funeral that helps families and friends begin mourning after the death of someone they love.
In addition to the information contained in this website, a list of recommended reading is provided below to help you understand your choices and allow you to plan the most meaningful funeral for your loved one.
Dr. Alan Wolfelt- Wolfelt, Alan, Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies: A Guide for Caregivers, Fort Collins, Colorado: Companion Press, 2011
- Wolfelt, Alan,Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies: A Guide for Families, Fort Collins, Colorado: Companion Press, 2011
- Wolfelt, Alan, The Journey through Grief: Reflections on Healing, Fort Collins, Colorado: Companion Press, 1996
- Wolfelt, Alan, Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart, Fort Collins, Colorado: Companion Press, 2003
Other Authors
- Fulghum, Robert, From Beginning to End: The Rituals of Our Lives, New York: Villard Books, 1995
- Long, Thomas G., Accompany Them With Singing: The Christian Funeral, Louisville, Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press, 2009
- Metrick, S.B., Crossing the Bridge: Creating Ceremonies for Grieving and Healing from Life#8217;s Losses, Berkeley: Celestial Arts, 1994
- Noel, Brook and Pamela Blair, Ph.D., I Wasn#8217;t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One, Milwaukee: Champion Press, 2008
- York, Sarah, Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life and Mourning Death, San Francisco: Jossey Bass, 2000
Recommended Links
Someone you loved has died. You are beginning a journey that is often frightening, painful and sometimes lonely. No words, written or spoken, can take away the pain you now feel.
The following organizations are additional sources of information, education and referral that may bring you some comfort and encouragement as you make a commitment to help yourself heal.
Funerals and Related Matters - National Organizations and Support Resources
- International Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association - http://www.iccfa.com
- Cremation Association of North America - info@cremationsassociations.org
- International Order of the Golden Rule - info@ogr.org
- National Funeral Directors Association - http://www.nfda.org
- Selected Independent Funeral Homes - http://www.selectedfuneralhomes.org
- Funeral Service Association of Canada - http://www.fsac.ca
National Self-Help Organizations and Support Groups
- AARP, Widowed Person's Services - http://www.aarp.org
Independent branches of this organization can be found by searching online for Widowed Persons Services and the name of your town and state. - American Association of Suicidology - http://suicidology.org
Information and resources; referrals to suicide survivor groups - Center for Loss and Life Transition - http://centerforloss.com
Resources, education and training, and referral for bereaved families; provides certificate program in Death and Grief studies for bereavement professionals - The Compassionate Friends - http://www.compassionatefriends.org
Information and resources for bereaved families who have experienced the death of a child - The Dougy Center - http://www.dougy.org
Information, education, referral and support for children and families; publishes a national directory of support programs for bereaved children - Share - http://nationalshare.org
Pregnancy and infant loss support - Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) - http://www.MADD.org
Education, resources and advocacy for bereaved families - Parents of Murdered Children, Inc - http://www.pomc.com
Information, resources and support for bereaved families - National Hospice and Palliative Care - http://www.nhpco.org
- National Institute of Mental Health Public Inquiries - http://www.nimh.nih.gov
Education and publications for families and professionals
Pre-Planning
Life Choices
Most of us plan ahead in life. We plan for our wedding, our children's education, family vacations, and other significant expected life events. We also plan for the unexpected events of life by purchasing home, auto and medical insurance.Understanding the benefits of pre-planning has prompted many to take the step to pre-plan their own arrangements.
Please call us at 520-544-2285 to set up an appointment to discuss pre-planning with a caring professional.
Why Pre-Plan?
Peace of MindMany who have undergone the emotional strain of arranging a funeral within hours of losing a loved one have made the choice to pre-plan their own funeral. Doing so lifts the burden from their loved ones by relieving decision-making pressure at a time of grief and emotional stress.
Personal Choice
Funeral arrangements are a deeply personal choice. Pre-planning provides you with the time needed to make practical, detailed decisions that reflect your standards, lifestyle, taste and budget. And we assure you and your family that the choices you make will be carried out as planned.
Lower Costs
When you finalize your plan, we can advise you of the total cost. You do not have to set aside funds for your plan, but doing so protects you against escalating funeral costs. By locking in today's funeral costs and ensuring that the necessary funds are set aside, you help relieve yourself of unnecessary future worry and your survivors of an unexpected expense.
Immediate Arrangements
In Time of Need
We understand that making the many decisions which come at a time of loss can be difficult. We offer our support by providing you with options as you consider making immediate arrangements.
Please call us at 520-544-2285 to make arrangements in person with a caring, professional Funeral Director.
Grief Support
Welcome to the Griefwords Online Library
Brought to you by the Center for Loss and Life Transition - Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., Director
Helping Others with Grief
A friend has experienced the death of someone loved. How can you help? The following articles provide many practical suggestions for helping others with grief:
Helping a Friend in Grief
Helping a Grandparent Who is Grieving
Helping a Grieving Friend in the Workplace
Helping a Suicide Survivor Heal
Helping Your Family When a Member is Dying
Helping Yourself with Grief
Someone you love has died. You are now faced with the difficult, but important, need to mourn. Mourning is the open expression of your thoughts and feelings regarding the death and the person who died. It is an essential part of healing. The following articles provide many practical suggestions to help you move toward healing in your unique grief journey.
Mustering the Courage to Mourn
Love and Grief:
In Communion and Greater Than the Sum of Their Parts
Helping Yourself Heal When Someone Loved Dies
Will I Befriend My Feelings Or Will I Deny, Repress, Or Inhibit Them?
Helping Yourself Heal When Your Spouse Dies
Helping Yourself Heal When Your Child Dies
Helping Yourself Heal When Your Parent Dies
Helping Yourself Heal When a Baby Dies
Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season
For and About Grieving Children and Teenagers
Children and teenagers have special needs following the death of a friend or family member. The following articles provide wonderful insight in helping children and teens understand and express their grief.
How to Talk to the Children and Teens in Your Life About the Newtown, CT Tragedy
Helping Infants and Toddlers Cope with Grief
Helping Children Cope With Grief
Helping Children with Funerals
Helping Teenagers Cope with Grief
Recommended Links
Someone you loved has died. You are beginning a journey that is often frightening, painful and sometimes lonely. No words, written or spoken, can take away the pain you now feel.
The following organizations are additional sources of information, education and referral that may bring you some comfort and encouragement as you make a commitment to help yourself heal.
Funerals and Related Matters - National Organizations and Support Resources
- International Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association - http://www.iccfa.com
- Cremation Association of North America - info@cremationsassociations.org
- International Order of the Golden Rule - info@ogr.org
- National Funeral Directors Association - http://www.nfda.org
- Selected Independent Funeral Homes - http://www.selectedfuneralhomes.org
- Funeral Service Association of Canada - http://www.fsac.ca
National Self-Help Organizations and Support Groups
- AARP, Widowed Person's Services - http://www.aarp.org
Independent branches of this organization can be found by searching online for Widowed Persons Services and the name of your town and state. - American Association of Suicidology - http://suicidology.org
Information and resources; referrals to suicide survivor groups - Center for Loss and Life Transition - http://centerforloss.com
Resources, education and training, and referral for bereaved families; provides certificate program in Death and Grief studies for bereavement professionals - The Compassionate Friends - http://www.compassionatefriends.org
Information and resources for bereaved families who have experienced the death of a child - The Dougy Center - http://www.dougy.org
Information, education, referral and support for children and families; publishes a national directory of support programs for bereaved children - Share - http://nationalshare.org
Pregnancy and infant loss support - Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) - http://www.MADD.org
Education, resources and advocacy for bereaved families - Parents of Murdered Children, Inc - http://www.pomc.com
Information, resources and support for bereaved families - National Hospice and Palliative Care - http://www.nhpco.org
- National Institute of Mental Health Public Inquiries - http://www.nimh.nih.gov
Education and publications for families and professionals
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Vistoso Funeral Home, LLC
2285 E. Rancho Vistoso Boulevard (Enter on Vistoso Commerce Loop)
Oro Valley, AZ 85755
520-544-2285
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